The Great Windex Hunt
by LinaIX
Summary: What happens when Nooj's glasses are coated in stickiness and he must try to get to the windex? Unfortunantly, it seems, insanity. Now...the hunt for the paper towels is on! updated
1. The Great Windex Hunt!

The Great Windex Hunt  
  
A/N: I started writing this when I had a cold, and nothing to do. My Friend, Cel-chan helped me come up with the concept, giving me a few random things. A note to all of you....I can get rather silly if you haven't read any of my anime fics. Now, you are forewarned. And...sadly I don't own the characters of Final Fantasy X-2....thought I have Y.R.P on my TV set. . Nor, do I own any products that lie within these pages.  
  
Nooj was minding his own business, watching the inevitable doom which is always on the likes of CNN or C-Span, when, out of nowhere, he was doused with what seemed to be a soda of sorts. Looking up, he saw the annoying sheepish grin of Rikku.  
  
"Oh no! I'm sorry....I tripped..." The Al Bhed blinked a few times, her eyes going wide, as Nooj felt his temper rise. She suddenly dashed off with a wave of her hand "Bye!" Then, he heard the back door slam shut behind her. Sighing, he pulled himself away from the news, and started for the kitchen, arms outstretched. If anyone wears glasses, they know how hard it is to get such a sticky substance off of the lenses. He knew the required drastic action. Some how...he had to find the Windex.... Nooj sighed as he walked into a corner, and heard a snicker come from behind him. "Not now Gippal...."  
  
He heard the man's footsteps come up behind him, and stop. Gippal leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He blinked once, twice, three times. "Yeah, was gonna ask you if you had seen Muffin Kisses....." Snickers even more. "Guess not..." Nooj was really starting to get ticked. He rubbed his shoulder that collided with the wall, and scowled. "Why in the world would I keep track of your stuffed kitten?" Gippal shrugged then smirked. "Yeah, sorry...forgot you can't see. I dunno.....I went to take a nap, and couldn't find him. I can't sleep with out Muffin Kisses..." He sighed* Well...maybe Pookey Bear is around somewhere..." Nooj really just wanted to return to his endeavour, so somehow had to get rid of this moron. Suddenly, an idea came to mind. To make sure he buys it, scowls even more "I haven't seen Baralai either. Now, just leave me to this?" Gippal looked at him in amazement, and then his face flushed, cheeks turning to a deep red. Nooj knew this would anger this guy like no other. "I was talking about my teddy bear! Jerk!" And he stalked away, much to Nooj's delight. Now, he stretched his arms out once more and steered himself to what he thought to be the kitchen, back to searching for the ever elusive glass cleaner. So, continuing on, Nooj steered himself to his best ability, knocking into walls, and going down a long hall. "I didn't think it was this long to the kitchen..." He said to himself as he walked to what he thought a doorway, either way, it was lighter...like the kitchen should be, and walked into someone, his good hand feeling something soft. Yeah, this wasn't the kitchen. And, a moment later, probably after a bit of shock, there was a shrill shriek. "Get out Nooj! You pervert!" It was Yuna.  
  
Nooj blinked and backed out, walking into the mostly open door, and then, the door frame, then turned and ran blindly back to his starting point, tripping and falling over a bunched piece of carpet. And not unexpectedly, Yuna started throwing things at him. She can be so temperamental. Couldn't she see he couldn't see? So, because of her tantrum, he was being bombarded with things that ranged to soft and cuddly to thinks that broke around his head. He sighed, knowing he had to lie there, and wait until she was done before getting up. After a few minutes of curses, and things shattering around him, everything became quiet once more. He picked himself up, with great difficulty, and turned, knowing that if that led to the bedrooms, the kitchen should be this way. Once again, he extended his arms, and went, bumping into various things as he went. He knew he'd be sore later. Moving around this place was difficult, even when not blinded by soda. But, finally, he made it to the other side of the living room, only to hear a laugh....Baralai.... "Um...Nooj....you look like a tornado struck...."  
Nooj sighed. He really didn't want this especially now. "How so?" He asked, fearing the answer as well as any ridicule.  
Still snickering a bit, Baralai walked over. "Well, you have glass in your hair, smudges all over your glasses, and a bra on your head." He picked said underclothing off of Nooj's head, laughing.  
  
"Long story..." Nooj muttered. He'd rather forget what's happened and be able to see again. "Please just leave me to what I was doing."  
Baralai, still snickering, stood in front of Nooj. "Come on, and just spill it."  
Nooj closed his eyes and inwardly groaned...ok, now to get rid of Baralai some how. "I think Gippal was looking for you. Something about taking a nap." Baralai's eyes got huge. Even Nooj would have chuckled seeing his reaction.  
"Not again! Never again!" And Nooj heard Baralai run, and the back door once again slam. Ah, he was heading in the right direction. The back door was in the kitchen, and it sounded like it was straight ahead. Barring any other obstacles, he'll have his glasses cleaned in no time.  
So, after a few moments that were fairly uneventful, he finally went through the swinging door of the kitchen. It was difficult, walking into a chair or two, then the counter; he finally made it to where they kept the cleaners. He crouched down and blinks a few times, hearing someone's footsteps come in. A pair of black leather high-heeled boots came into his blurry view around the perimeter of his glasses. No question that this was...  
"What are you doing Nooj?" Came Paine's voice.  
"Looking for the Windex." He replied rather shortly. She chuckled as she walked away from him, then he heard some rustling.  
"Good luck finding it. I needed it to clean one of Rikku's messes." Then he heard her footsteps once again, this time going away. What did that mean...? Did she just hide the bottle on him?! She...would. He sighed and got up, going to where he heard the rustling and felt around. Great, the refrigerator. He reached up, and felt around, knocking over pill bottles and useless items that always find their way to the top of the Fridge. Finally, he felt the smooth plastic bottle, the coolness of it, then, the trigger handle. He grabbed it, quickly taking it down from it's perch, and sprayed the lenses of his glasses. He blinked a few times and glances around at the fuzzy kitchen.  
"Oh, for the love of..." He went over and sat at the table, hanging his head. "Where are the damned paper towels?!"  
  
A/N #2: Yeah it called for a second note. Please keep in mind, it's late, and I have a horrible cold. Thanks Cel-chan for beta-reading and telling me whether its actually funny or just plain stupid. Also, a huge thank you to the Creator of Secret of Mana Animated Theater. I was so stuck on a name for the stuffed kitty, it was all I could think of! If you've played Secret of Mana, and even if you haven't (like me.) Check it out! It's hilarious. 


	2. The Great Paper Towel Hunt!

The Great Paper Towel Hunt

A/N: Now, I usually don't write up a sequel for something I said "One Shot" for, seeing generally one shot means what it says. That's it, don't like it, get over it. But, I make one exception, not because anyone talked me into it, (because no one did) but, because I was horribly bored and needed something to do. Sooner or later, I may write a third to this, but so far, it doesn't look like it. I mean I have the idea, but I have no comp right now and hate to write long hand. Well...either way, I'm leaving it open. Hope you enjoy, and please review if you read it. If so, it may persuade me to write the last part. Also, I do not own FF X X-2 or any name brands within these pages. This is just for fun people. If you decide to get angry and sue, you may get a big pile of dust and a few pennies that came from within my couch cushions.

He was near his boiling point. What else could possibly go wrong? He's had things spilled on him, thrown at him, and even hidden on him. And now, with his glasses dripping with Windex, he had no idea where the paper towels were. Perhaps he could ask someone? Doubtful. Yuna and Gippal were mad at him. Baralai was hiding from Gippal, Rikku was hiding from him, and Paine had hid them to begin with!

He sighed and sat down, frustrated. Trying to simply think of how to go about this, he set his glasses down in front of him. He could always wander around the place until he found it...and pray he didn't run in on Yuna changing again. He doubted he could survive another attack. Just as he was about to give up, the back door opened revealing an all too familiar blonde and purple view.

"Oh, not now. Shuyin, what did you do to me you blonde bimbo?!" He thought to himself as he heard that nerve grating squeal.

"Noojie!" And the blur rushed upon him, glomping him. "Oh you poor thing! You shouldn't stay with these...these...people! I still think you should stay with me in Guadosalam!"

Nooj sighed as he pried her arms from around him. "And I can't believe you stay in that place after all that's happened." He heard that small noise she made when she pouted and sighed inwardly. This was going to be a long day.

"Someone has to, why not me?" She sat right beside him. Another happy squeal met his ears, causing him to wince. "Oh, Noojie! You look so incredibly sexy with those silly glasses off!"

Nooj shook his head and stood, frowning slightly. Being around this woman was like being tortured slowly...very slowly.

"Why are you here LeBlanc?"

Again, there was the sound of a pout. "I wanted to see my Noojie-woojie..."

He grimaced inwardly. Wonderful, simply wonderful. Now, how to get rid of this one? "Sorry LeBlanc, but I'm a bit busy right now..." Hearing a small laugh escape her, he was suddenly very frightened.

"Oh that shouldn't be a problem." An alarm sounded in the back of his mind, as he felt metal clamp down around his wrist. "With this, I can go around anywhere with you!" He could see her self-satisfied grin in his mind. No, this was not going well, not well at all. How could he look for anything with her...attached like this?

"What? Why? Where'd you get these from?" He was simply stupefied by her actions. This woman was simply insane! No wonder Shuyin chose to use her for his own personal gains!

"Oh these?" He felt a light pull as she shrugged. "I snagged them from some filthy Al Bhed...no where important." Oh, she's charming...

He sighed and rolled his eyes. Ok, this was going no where. "And can you please get these off of me?"

There was a moment of silence which frightened him a bit more. And when she spoke, his fears were confirmed. He felt her try them, and then sigh. "I...they're locked! I didn't know they'd do that!" Oh, wonderful...screeching.

Ok, change of plan. First, find Gippal or Rikku. Second, get this woman as far away from him as possible. Thirdly, find those damnable paper towels. Why do things always take longer than they're supposed to? He sighed and nodded.

"Ok. Then, first thing to do is hunt down either Gippal or Rikku. So they can get these blasted things off." He grinned a bit hearing a whine come from her.

"But...but Noojie..."

"I have a few things to do that I'll need both hands for...sorry." Then, he squinted his eyes, bringing everything into focus ever so slightly. "Did you see Rikku outside anywhere?" He squinted over at her in time to see her wrinkle her nose.

"Thankfully...no. She's such a pest." She replied, her voice dripping with disdain.

Nooj sighed. Ok, Rikku was out of the question. That meant option B, which seemed a bit strange lately. He wondered what was going on. Come on, how many grown-up men had to snuggle up with plush toys in order to go to sleep?

He nodded, letting out a sigh, and headed out of the kitchen. "Very well. We can ask Gippal for help then." And when LeBlanc gave a small whine, he frowned. "I can't very well get things done like this! Never mind if I have to go to the bathroom!"

She pouted, and turned into that spoiled brat she was. "Fine. If that's what you really want."

"More than you know..." He muttered as he squinted, heading towards Gippal's room.

Feeling down to the door handle, he gave a quick knock with his knuckles. "Coming in!" When he led LeBlanc in, he stopped in his tracks. "What the...?"

LeBlanc gasped, and then giggled. "Oh, this is too good..." What they saw was a sight! Gippal was napping in his bed, cuddling with a stuffed kitten. His bed was covered in plush animals. And, on the other side of the room was a shrine to Baralai! Nooj knew a few things from this sight. One was that Gippal had finally cracked...big time. A second was that Rikku was going to be devastated by this!

"This is truly warped..." He muttered as he advanced to the bed. Now, he really didn't want to be anywhere near the Al Bhed, but he had to get this contraption off. He shook Gippal's arm.

Stirring, Gippal looked up at the two and frowned. "What?!" He whined.

Nooj held up his wrist with the cuffs and frowned. "I need help."

Gippal sat up instantly and laughed. "Man, do I even wanna ask?" Then looks them over. "This is pretty simple. I'll do it...for a price."

LeBlanc gave a disgusted face, and Nooj gave the Al Bhed an uncertain look. "Being...?"

Grinning, Gippal motioned to the cuffs. "Can I have those?"

Nodding, Nooj quickly agreed.

"Deal."

And, of course, LeBlanc huffed. "But, they're mine!"

Giving her a pointed look, he motioned around the room. "Do you really want to argue?" When she shook her head, a little too quickly, Nooj looked back to his strange friend. "Then take them off!"

The Al Bhed grinned then nodded, taking what looked like a hairpin from his pocket. In no time flat, he popped both locks and stashed the item under a few stuffed animals. "There you go. All done." Still grinning, he took a dive back into his bed. "Have fun lovebirds!" Then snuggled up to a fluffy white stuffed cat that had patches of tan. Ah, it seemed he found Muffin Kisses.

Turning to head out, Nooj gave both a wave. "See you two later" As he headed down the hall, he heard Gippal call out a sleepy "Later" then Leblanc hurrying to catch up.

"But Noojie-Woojie... I wanted to spend the day with you!" She whined, falling into step beside him. He sighed, rolling his eyes. Was there any way to get rid of her?

"Fine, tag along. Just...stay out of my way."

Hating this whole situation, Nooj continued on his blurry journey of the house. Those elusive paper towels had to be somewhere damn it! And he was determined to find them. Thankfully LeBlanc was being fairly quiet, a feat in itself.

After a few minutes of wandering, he saw a familiar blur dressed in black...Paine. He heard, first, a hiss of disdain from LeBlanc, then a snicker from Paine.

So, Nooj, when'd you get the eyesore for a shadow?" Paine asked in an amused voice.

He heard another hiss from Leblanc. "Why you little...!"And he held out his arm out just in time to stop her from attacking Paine. Though...would that be so bad...?  
"Back off..."He warned, and then sighed hearing Paine laugh again. Frowning a bit, he looked at her. "Where are the Paper towels?"

Snickering yet again, he saw the blur shake her head. "No way. This is much more fun."

He was starting to feel his patience wane. "Look Paine...if you don't fess up right now..." He smirked. "You see LeBlanc following me around?"

"Yeah..."She replied, starting to sound uncertain.  
"Well, if you don't give them up, I will follow you around, thus LeBlanc would be following you also." He felt the item thrust into his arms, and a surge of triumph. Finally! He had the elusive paper towels!

"Fine...you are so evil..." Paine muttered as she turned and stalked away.

He smiled, pleased with himself. He turned, heading back towards the kitchen. Now, where did he set his glasses down...?

Will Nooj's Glasses be where he left them?

Will LeBlanc ever leave him alone?  
What –are- Gippal's plans for those hand cuffs?

Find out....in part 3!


End file.
